I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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