maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
