Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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