so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
