That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
