After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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