the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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