dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
