I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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