You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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