let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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