I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
