I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
