Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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