i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
