Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she smelled like a LAN party
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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