Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize