You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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