Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
