How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You smell like stripper and shame
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
