I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize