First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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