i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
