Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
