hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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