I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
