I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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