I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize