Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
