know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
