She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
