i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
