If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
