Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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