From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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