8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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