We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
