Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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