thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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