Just fell off a train. Bad.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
