Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
