Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
as a side note pls kill me
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