Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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