i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
soo... how was my night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
