The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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