Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nicole vs. Life
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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