At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
