dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
