if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
