if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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