those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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