Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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