it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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