I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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