I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
