You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How does it feel to date your dad?
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