Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
