it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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