and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
