Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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