All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
