Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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