And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
