i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
