I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
