You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
