Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
