You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
