Can i not drive my cunt home
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
