Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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