I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
