Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
