do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
