I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
