i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
