but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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