so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize