there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize