Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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