First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Buhtt sex?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
