I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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