So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
