Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
